Decluttering as a form of “self care”
The term self-care has been used for hundreds of years, and the term has evolved over time from its original meaning. It wasn’t until the 2000s that it became more mainstream and a buzz-word for things like taking bubble baths and going to yoga. But self-care is so much more than bubble baths and yoga.
Today, I want to focus on how self-care is literally meant to improve your health. The behaviors, strategies, and activities to help you reduce stress and increase your energy. While that could be bubble baths, it’s often more complex than that. So, we’re going to start with the idea of focusing on ONE THING at a time.
You might be thinking, “WHAT?! There’s absolutely no way to focus on one thing at a time in a world that moves as quickly as ours does, where I have so many responsibilities, and am being pulled in a hundred different directions.”
I’m not saying it’s easy. And I fall into this trap all the time. But it’s with recognition, awareness, and intentionality that I can bring myself back to a more grounded state and remind myself of the one thing I want to focus on. And you can too! As Gary Keller, founder of Keller Williams Realty Inc. and best-selling author, states, “you simply ask yourself in any given area of your life, ‘what’s the one thing I can do, such that by doing it everything else is easier or unnecessary?’ That’s it.”
He goes on to say, “It’s not always the same one thing. It’s one step at a time. It’s one thing right now. What you’re trying to do is set up a domino effect in your life. You want to line up things with the end in mind. Your one step is always tied to your destination.” Your one step leads to another one step, to another one step and so on. This can be used in any area of your life. And to help illustrate it, I’m going to first use an example that resonates with many of us; our physical health.
Let’s say your destination, or end goal, is to lose 20 pounds. While that goal is attainable, it can also feel overwhelming. So, what’s the one thing you’re going to start with? Maybe the first thing is to research tennis shoes to make sure you have shoes that support your feet, feel good, fit right, etc. If you don’t have the right shoes it can cause you more hurt than help and deter you from exercising. Then once you’ve got that step down, you determine which type of exercise you want to start with. Is it walking, bike riding, yoga, etc.? Then you do it. And you keep doing it. You focus on building time into your day to exercise. Even if it's 20 minutes. Then you add in one more step, drinking more water. Then another, eating more fruits and vegetables. And so on until you’ve changed your habits, one at a time, and reached your goal of losing 20 pounds.
Now, let’s look at another part of your life. One that might not feel as familiar to us as a form of self-care. Your home and your belongings. “What? Really” “Yes, really.” We deserve to live in a space that is calming, feels safe, and brings us peace and happiness. Research shows that our physical space affects our mental space. Clutter and disorganization brings on more feelings of stress and anxiety. But for many of us the busyness of life makes it hard to maintain the physical space. You find yourself in your head with comments such as, “I’ll get to it this weekend. Once school is out, we’ll have more time to focus. I just need the kids to be occupied so I can spend some dedicated time in the basement.” And so on, and so on. Or, when it feels like it’s reached a point of no return, the thought of tackling it is so overwhelming and too much, it’s often left alone and avoided altogether.
So how can we apply this idea of ONE THING at a time to decluttering and organizing your physical space? We take small steps each day. We literally do ONE THING at a time. And while it might feel like chores or everyday tasks (let’s be honest, it often is), it’s also an act of self-love. Self-care. Having pride in your home helps boost your confidence. Higher self confidence helps you feel stronger, ready to try new things, and step out of your comfort zone. Less clutter and more structure opens you up for more flexibility, creativity, and possibilities of what could be, both in the physical space, but also in other areas of your as well.
Similar to losing 20 pounds, let’s pick an end goal, a destination. Let’s say you want to cook more. Make meals at home with your family, but your kitchen is a catch-all and stresses you out, so you resort to take-out more than you’d like or you cook the same easy meals over and over. But you enjoy cooking and you want to share this joy with your family. However, the pantry and cabinets are filled to the brim, the counters are cluttered from daily life, and you don’t even want to get started with the refrigerator.
What’s the ONE THING you can start with? Here are some ideas.
Tell your family the expectations of the kitchen. This is a simple task, but a big one. Communication is huge. If others don’t know your expectations or feelings, they can’t honor them. And that’s usually a root cause for so many other problems. So, let them know the kitchen won’t become a catch-all. Backpacks or purses will be hung in their designated spot, the mail will go in its designated spot, the last person to consume an item will throw away/recycle the packaging, etc.
Create a junk drawer if you don’t already have one for those random items you need, but aren’t sure where to put them. Start by just tossing them in the drawer. Give everything a home. Even if it’s a cluttered drawer. You can tackle that organization later.
Go through your mail each day so it doesn’t take up real estate on the counters or kitchen table. File away the important stuff and either toss, shred, or recycle the others. This simple act, completed each day, will make a world of difference. And it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes.
Now that you can see the counters, you can start thinking about a cabinet or a drawer. Start with JUST ONE. As you cook or unload the dishwasher, I know there’s thoughts such as, “I never use this. This is starting to break or wear out. We have 5 of these spoons and only need 2.” Instead of throwing the item back in the drawer, grab a box or trashbag and start a donation pile. Each time you have these thoughts, take action right away. (Spoiler alert - as you engage in this type of thinking more consistently, you’ll start to do it in other areas of your life. Instead of just talking about exercise, you’ll take that walk, do that class, etc. Instead of contemplating that hobby, you’ll buy the supplies, join the group, etc. Maybe not all at once. But it will happen, I promise).
Follow this same process as you make your way around the kitchen and go through all cabinets and drawers, one at a time. It doesn’t have to be completed in a weekend (although it could be if you’re feeling energized). It can be spread out over a month or two as long as you’re taking intentional steps with the end goal in mind.
For the pantry, you could start by picking up boxes and cans to look at the expiration date. That’s it. Start with that ONE THING. If it’s past the date and not something you will eat, toss it. If it’s not past the date, but something you still won’t eat, grab another box and start a donation bin for your local food pantry.
The next ONE THING you could do is to look for opened items that don’t have enough contents for consumption - throw them away. That right, the chip bags with crumbs, the remaining cookies that are stale. Toss em. Get rid of it.
Another ONE THING you can do is to inventory your space when making your grocery list. Look at what you have before buying more. Or, you can determine if you like to buy in bulk, find it helpful to decant items, or prefer to keep them in the original packaging.
Now do I dare say fridge? Tossing smelly left overs is not an ideal way to spend your day, but it’s necessary. Things you can do here, ONE THING AT A TIME, are similar to the pantry. Toss old, expired condiments, produce, left-overs, etc. Combine your multiples. Put those two bottles of ketchup into one. Or, inventory your contents and toss out old food each week. These simple and quick habits will keep the space free for what you’re currently cooking, and it will smell better!
Life is hard and complex, and sometimes it can feel impossible to make time for yourself. Especially when others rely on you everyday in so many ways. But you must take time. You can’t give from an empty cup. If your cup is feeling empty, the ONE THING you can start with is making a list of those things that will fill it back up. Then start going down the list, ONE at a time, as you practice self-care. A second great place to start is with your physical space. When we feel like we have control or ownership in our surroundings, we start to feel that way about other aspects. Self-care takes us from surviving to thriving.